Short Controlled Bursts

1. I saw a dude at my school wearing uggs this morning. I really need to get the fuck out of California.

2. Some asswipe Staff Sergeant sent me a Myspace message this morning asking if I would like to join the Army. He then continued to prattle on about the benefits of being in the armed forces. It might have been a fake profile. I didn't check it out but it would be a little disconcerting if the military industrial complex in which that man is a part of has its slimey death grip on myspace as well. Call me naive but I really don't pay much attention to the Army's ad campaigns. I'm all for seperation of church and state as well as Army and "internets."

3. Thomas's english muffins might be the greatest thing known to man, especially when combined with a tall glass of 100 percent pure, premium, Florida orange juice.

Merely an observation

The tracker my blog has allows me to see where referrals come from. It is pretty funny to see that people have googled the term "Hot Carl" and consequently ended up here. I am pretty certain that anybody who ends up here based on a "Hot Carl" google search will probably be pretty disappointed that this is merely a blog and not an over the top shitporn website. Sorry guys but I don't know what to tell you. The name is for shock and LOL value only.

Fair Harvard

Apparently two college students at Harvard are offended by all the "mindless sex" they hear about on campus. These two students are starting an on-campus abstinence group called True Love Revolution where they will attempt to keep people from using their penises and vaginas in the manner that we are all accustomed to. Sounds weird eh? I know, I always thought that the words "Mindless Sex" and "Harvard" formed kind of an oxymoron. There are a few ideas going through my head about this.

1. I wasn't aware that anybody at Harvard was even having sex.

2. If they are actually having sex I can't imagine anyone getting into Harvard had any time for sex in High School outside of checking out the pictures in their 1950's era sex ed book. I'm sure once the get to Harvard they are just letting lose.

3. These two students secretly have AIDS and they have decided that if they can't have sex then nobody else is going to.

Trying to keep students who attend Harvard from having sex is pretty irresponsible. They need to have some sort of fun outlet that doesn't involve parading around in their Harvard sweaters. Attempting to take that away because you (you as in the two students who started the abstinence group) are too pretentious and uptight to get drunk one night and make some bad decisions doesn't give you the right to recruit others into this seedy cult of post-virginity and rain on everyone elses parade.

Here is the link to the Article.

This is why they are called "the good old days."

Most WWII propaganda posters are pretty hilarious. I think this one is my favorite though.

Operation: Tell your girl that her dog is uglier than Eleanor Roosevelt

Many women have horrible taste in dogs and I am beginning to realize this more and more. Has the following ever happened to you?

Chick Friend: Hey (insert dude name here) I got a dog!! It's sooooooooo cute!!! Like OMG it' sooooo cute you gotta see it!!

Apathetic dude: No, I wasn't aware that you got a dog.

Chick Friend: Well! I have a picture of him on my, myspace! Check it out!

Apathetic dude: Ok, I'll look. (Cues the sound of looking at myspace) (Cues mental thoughts) This is the ugliest dog I have ever seen in my life, it's TINY! If a pile of my laundry fell on top of it, not only would its neck get snapped, but it would probably get lost for a month. I can't tell her that her dog is ugly so I'll just have to lie.

Apathetic dude: Ya, hes cute alright. Thats one fantastic looking canine. Congratulations and may his life be a fruitful one.

Chick friend: AWWWWW THANX!!!!!

There you have it. This scenario happens all too often in our lives. The reason why it is happening is because men (and this also includes myself) aren't taking the proper initiative towards telling women that their tiny dogs are hideous monstrosities. I'd rather deal with the consequences of telling a girl that her new 3/5ths of an inch sized rat-looking dog has more business being in the dumpster than it does on my computer monitor or living room floor. Now, I will admit there are definitely ok looking small dogs so I don't want you to think my anger is directed at them, but I just don't understand how women can be so anal about the asthetic value of say "living room curtains" or "home furnishings" but they'll go out and get a dog so fucking ugly that it makes Rosie O'Donnell look like somebody you'd want to bang more than twice. Men, we need to get tougher when it comes to this sort of thing and I for one am definitely at my breaking point. We can't let these ugly ankle biting dogs ruin our livelyhood anymore so in the spirit of the Army's 'Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy" I have come up with a new one.

DO ask! DO tell

Ask the following: Uhhh what the fuck were you thinking bringing that thing home?

And tell the following: If you don't get rid of that thing we're done!

It wasn't part of the deal blackheart!!!!!!!!!

Having a birthday on a Monday is pretty weird. Since Mondays have such a negative stigma attached to them it could be argued that a birthday makes a Monday super rad, a Monday that would otherwise be like any regular Monday. The only problem with that is the fact that if your birthday does occur on a Monday then you are faced with countless other Mondays that just won't be able to live up to it. I don't know about you guys, but I would rather my Mondays stay boring, predictable and unspecial for that specific reason. Happy Birthday to me and hopefully I'll never have a Monday birthday ever again.

Release The Hounds

I am in no way a George Bush supporter but I have noticed a few things about the ongoing "anti-bush" propaganda that confuse me. My roommate has a tee-shirt that says "The Face of Evil" and it has a picture of George Bush’s' face on it. Am I seriously supposed to believe that??? For as bad of a president as George Bush is, he doesn't even come close to being as bad as Kim Jong-il, the current dictator of North Korea. He has practically starved the population of North Korea and isolated them from relief efforts(among other things). I could list a billion reasons as to why he is a terrible human being and way worse than any president The United States has ever had so why not put his picture on a t-shirt or possibly a guy like Pol-Pot?

The fact of the matter is, is that we are so out of touch with what goes on in the rest of the world that we can't take a look at all the horror occurring that isn't even remotely related to The United States. If the evilest person you can come up with for a t-shirt is George Bush, then quite frankly you don't know a god-damn thing about current/past events that have occurred around the world. Sure, it's somebody's idea to make a quick buck, but you have to wonder about the type of person who would openly wear a shirt like that and believe in it.

Nobody put Harry Truman's face on a t-shirt for sending troops to North Korea and precipitating a war that killed over 2 million Koreans, 53,000 Americans and countless other members of the United Nations Coalition(probably because he is a Democrat). Sure, it was a different time back in 1950 and one could argue that America's blind fore into taking sides against the impending communist threat acts as an excuse for it's actions, but war is war and death is death no matter what the reasons are. Shouldn't Harry Truman be as evil as George Bush then? One could also argue that Harry Truman didn't have evil intentions and while that still isn't an excuse for precipitating a conflict in a country that doesn't particularly "matter" I am sure that people who didn't support his actions didn't move for a "face of evil" t-shirt to be made with Harry Truman's face on it.

What I find funny is that the same people who are currently bitching about the war in Iraq are the same people sucking John F. Kennedy's dead dick all the time, talking about how he was one of the greatest presidents in American history. He was one of the people who helped precipitate the war in Vietnam and while Lyndon Johnson was ultimately the decision maker when it came to sending more and more troops, we wouldn't have been there if it weren't for some of Kennedy's decisions, yet he is still hailed as a hero and George Bush is villified for doing essentially the same thing. Kennedy even put forth the legislation to start the Special Forces, with the specific purpose of sending them to Vietnam to fend off the Viet-Cong.

Has our foreign policy changed all that dramatically over the years? Aspects of it have definitely changed but I don't see this attempt to contain the "terrorist threat" as being any different from America's efforts to contain the "communist threat." Obviously, we should have learned our lesson by now due to past overseas conflicts, but that is another topic all together. Since the 1950's America's globalization of the world has grown considerably, so to say that America doesn't have ulterior motives is pretty spurious, but to infer that our president has evil intentions to terrorize the planet is just short-sighted. I can think of at least five current world leaders who, if they had the opportunity to do so on a global scale with no consequences, would commit unspeakable acts of tyranny and oppression and George Bush definitely isn't one of them.